Like Tulsa Time*, Dementia Time may have little connection with reality. “One morning recently, I heard noises in the hallway at 1:30 in the morning” says a caregiver whose mom has dementia. “Here comes mom fully clothed going to the kitchen and expecting breakfast. You show her the clock and that it is totally dark outside. She has breakfast anyway and goes back to bed.”
The concept of the Bookcase Story can help us understand why a person with dementia has trouble with logical and sequential activities. Think of the healthy brain as a tall shelf full of interesting books.
The books on the top shelf represent memories of facts and skills for thinking in complex or complicated ways. When dementia rocks the bookcase, the books on the top shelf begin to fall out. The person may not remember what they were told moments before, such as, it is time to get ready to leave the house. She forgets the many behaviors required – bathing, dressing, eating – and in what sequence they must be performed. This is extremely frustrating for the caregivers and may lead to impatience and negative emotions.
At the same time that executive function is fading, the emotional center of the brain, the amygdala, is fully open for business and may well be until the end of life. Emotions of love, happiness, kindness, respect, patience and warmth are alive and well in the person with dementia. Understanding this is the key to interacting with a person with dementia. Love is the answer! The caregiver is fully capable of knowing how to get ready to leave the house for errands, but he/she must step back and unlock those good feelings in their loved one in order to smooth the process.
The person with dementia cannot respond to logical reasoning; those functions are lost. But emotions – both positive and negative – are fully felt. The person with dementia reacts just like you or me to anger, impatience, bullying or pushing. They become fearful, lethargic, depressed and withdrawn. But shower your loved one with gentle touching, hand-holding, smiles, eye contact and words of kindness and you will have a different result.
Thank you to Dementia Friends for the Bookcase Story graphic. Click here to find where you can take the one-hour “Dementia Friends” training online or locally: https://dementiafriendsusa.org/. Watch this short trailer to see what you will learn from Dementia Friends training. https://youtu.be/x9g0oK2G9x8
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*What is meant by Tulsa Time?
The song is about a guy who leaves Oklahoma for the bright lights of Hollywood, but discovers that he is much happier back home where he can set his watch to “Tulsa Time,” where things happen at a much slower pace. The original version of this song was released earlier in 1978 on Don Williams’ album Expressions.
Tulsa Time by Eric Clapton – Songfacts
https://www.songfacts.com › facts › tulsa-time
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This article is submitted by Dementia Friendly Community Initiative, a program of Whitewater Seniors in the Park. Anyone interested in learning about Whitewater’s DFCI is cordially invited to attend one of the monthly meetings.
